Wendy Osefo … excuse me, Dr. Wendy Osefo, Ph.D. … is wise.
Not simply due to her famed 4 levels. Or due to her careers in political punditry, academia and now internet hosting together with her new YouTube present. But as a result of she’s completed the work. She’s a dutiful daughter of Nigerian heritage, and actually wrote the ebook on it. It’s why her option to not simply enter however stick it out in Bravo’s “Real Housewives of Potomac” — participating in what I name “high-stakes femininity” (extra on that later) — is so attention-grabbing.
The standard present, now in its eighth season, follows the lives of well-connected girls within the Washington, D.C., Maryland and Virginia space (a.okay.a., “the DMV”). This present season has taken a flip for the ridiculous as Osefo has begun to butt heads with the present’s beginner and sole different Nigerian-American solid member, Nneka Ihim, who inserted a problematic storyline involving “voodoo,” implied witchcraft and “shrines” that has dragged on for greater than 5 tiresome episodes.
The viewers largely hate it.
Shamira Ibrahim, who recaps the sequence for Vulture, summed it up like this, “All of this is very disappointing, and I am not looking forward to seeing it continue to play out.”
But none of this was new for Osefo.
“[Before joining ‘Housewives,’] I was under the impression that these people knew they had these issues, and it was exposed,” mentioned Osefo in an interview with HuffPost. “What I didn’t know was if you don’t have issues, one will be created for you.”
For Osefo, rumors on gossip blogs turned storylines, irrespective of how flimsy: from made-up murmurs about her husband having a “side baby” to accusations that very same husband was flirting just because he’d “smiled” at folks, thus incomes him the title “Happy Eddie.”
(A very good sport, Osefo and her husband laughed off these allegations, after which turned the moniker into model of marijuana he’s promoting.)
Gossip — of the actual and mythological form — is forex on “RHOP” in the identical method it was at your native highschool, the place the favored clique is scrutinized by each the plebes and one another. In truth, consider how in highschool, issues like “good grades” or “punctuality” could not have been valued very a lot, however issues like having a boyfriend, a scorching physique, and the newest designer digs did. This is the junior varsity model of “high-stakes femininity.”
Meanwhile, the housewives are gamers within the professional soccer community of “traditional” (or retrograde) female values and practices. Think of femme personhood lowered to its most elementary, oft stereotypical tendencies. Jealousy. Cat fights. Shade. (Or good ol’ long-established “insults.”)
In the world of “Real Housewives,” and particularly on “Real Housewives of Potomac,” every little thing is lowered to a lady’s man/garments/home — the three most prized possessions on a franchise named for being a lady, who can also be a spouse, and has a house — both what she has on her personal or together with her associate. Digs are thrown at issues like “renting,” wanting “tacky, overweight, and/or unattractive” or being “single and childless,” which feels antiquated in how the actual world truly operates.
That’s positively how highschool works or used to work, as movies like “Heathers,” “Easy A” and “Mean Girls” can attest. You may very well be banished for issues like “being perceived as promiscuous” or “being perceived as a prudish bore” or, in my case again within the Nineteen Nineties, sporting Payless no-name tennis sneakers as an alternative of Nikes.
“When I was coming on the show, I was like, man, some of these women — not on my franchise, but on other franchises — they’re like, multi-millionaires. They have these multiple homes. They do all of these things, and where am I in my life? I didn’t come with a silver spoon in my mouth. Nor did I marry a gazillionaire,” Osefo mentioned. ”He was in legislation college and I used to be getting my Ph.D. We had been at school collectively. We got here up collectively. And I used to be like, what do I’ve to supply this present apart from being the primary Nigerian housewife in franchise historical past?”
What she needed to supply was one thing hardly ever seen in our youth or on “Housewives” — a “cool” nerd.
“One thing that I wish I always saw growing up was a nerd. I wish I saw a popular nerd to let me know it’s cool to read books,” Osefo mentioned. “Because sometimes even when I watch what my kids watch, it’s like you’re either popular or you’re a nerd. Media always portrays it like it’s one or the other. No, you can be a popular nerd. And for me, that’s what I was.”
Growing up, Osefo was a nerd at residence, however a preferred lady at school. This duality served younger Osefo effectively in navigating the treacherous waters of teenage girlhood, however over time, it turned problematic, as she discovered herself balancing two very completely different identities.
“I was part of the cool girls, but I always did my work,” Osefo mentioned. “I was the cool girl, but I never hung out outside of school. Not because the opportunity wasn’t presented, but because I never even got the chance to get the opportunity to be presented,” she mentioned, referencing her strict mom.
“I navigated it by being two faces in a weird way. Like, we’re cool, we hang out, we talk about stuff. I go home, I do my work. I go home, I watch ‘Jeopardy.’ I go home, and I am focused on what I need to do.”
Much like highschool, to outlive this “Housewives” world, girls like Osefo should ask themselves: Am I a horny, dainty but demanding diva who could or might not be an skilled at literature however can swiftly and succinctly “read” one other particular person? Do I am going for a pop of coloration in a monochromatic look? Can I glue on my lashes and apply a winged eyeliner with effectivity? What’s the within of my residence like, if I’ve a house… or 4 properties?
If I’m thrown to the proverbial wolves of high-stakes femininity (aka the world of magnificence pageants, prayer circles, girls’s media and style, sororities, Lipstick Alley, “ladies who lunch” and “The Kardashians”), do I return main the pack, as “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills” alum Lisa Vanderpump as soon as mentioned?
Or do I grow to be pet food?
It’s only a completely different recreation at this stage. But Osefo is not any idiot. She can play it.
“I said to myself, ‘No, I’m not going to stay here and talk about having million-dollar homes,’” she mentioned. “But what I will talk about is my four degrees, because what I know to be true is while you guys might have financial currency, I have educational currency, and yours will leave you when you are six feet under. I will take my brain with me when I’m six feet under, so my currency actually has more weight than yours. So tote your cars, tote your money. I’m toting my degrees.”
